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good look on him. The memory of it would see Jez through a long busy
day in the café. He walked out of Mac s bedroom door, pulling it shut
behind him, and nearly crashed into Josh. Josh had obviously just come
upstairs, still wearing the clothes he d left in the night before.
Josh s ey ebrows disappeared under his dark fringe as he took in Jez s
appearance. Jez s stomach was embarrassingly sticky, and he probably
stank of come. He was blushing so hard, he felt as though he might
combust.
 Good night? Jez asked weakly.
 Not bad.
 I was heading to the shower& .
Josh s lips quirked as his ey es raked down Jez s body.  Probably for
the best.
 Josh& . Jez said pleadingly. But he had no idea what to add.  This
isn t what it looks like wouldn t cut it, because it was exactly what it
looked like.
 Chill, Jez. Your secret s safe with me. Mac s too.
The way he said it, Jez believed him. Weak with gratitude, he
thanked Josh and scurried into the bathroom to scrub the evidence away.
When he went into his room after showering, Mac was waiting for
him there, fully dressed and standing awkwardly by the bed.
 Who the fuck was that on the landing? His tone was sharp, and his
face pale and anxious.
A flash of hurt shot through Jez. So this is how it feels to be a guilty
secret.  It was only Josh. Don t worry, he was cool. He won t say
any thing. Jez towelled his hair dry.
 Are y ou sure?
 As sure as I can be. Jez went to his drawer to get out clean boxers.
It felt weird walking around naked in front of Mac now that the play ful
intimacy of earlier had vanished.
 Good. But Mac still sounded doubtful.  We need to be more
careful.
 Yeah, I guess. Jez y anked on his underwear, facing away from
Mac. He didn t trust his face not to betray him.
It was chilly and drizzling outside, and as Jez hurried through the
damp Ply mouth streets, his heart was heavy. The shops were full of
Christmas display s, all glitter and fairy lights and stupid, expensive gifts.
The holiday s were fast approaching. Only a couple of weeks left in the
term before they  d all be going home for Christmas.
Jez sighed. May be a break from this weird thing he had going with
Mac would be good for him. He felt stupid and angry with himself for the
kernel of hurt in his chest that lingered after their last conversation. Of
course Mac didn t want any one to know about them. Hell, Jez wasn t
ready to broadcast it either. But Mac s reaction to Josh catching them only
served to reinforce the cold certainty that this thing between them was
going nowhere. If Jez was truly honest with himself, what they had
wasn t enough for him any more. The sex was great, but it wasn t all
about the sex for Jez now. Sleeping in Mac s arms last night had touched a
part of Jez that no amount of hand jobs would satisfy.
After a stressful start to the day, things only got worse. The café was
busy, Jez s boss, Helen, was in a foul mood, and every thing that could
possibly go wrong, did. Distracted, he kept messing up people s orders,
and after the third complaint that involved a drink or a plate of food being
sent back, Helen bawled him out in front of half the customers. Jez hung
his head and didn t argue back. He knew he was in the wrong.
At the end of his shift, Helen called him into the office for a chat.
 I m sorry I lost my temper earlier, Jez. She sounded as though she
meant it. She wasn t usually one to lose her cool.  I m having a bad day
 well, a bad week, actually  but I shouldn t have taken it out on y ou.
Any way. There s no easy way to tell y ou this, but I m going to have to let
y ou go.
Jez stared at her in shock as the words sank in.  But 
 It s not because of today. She was quick to reassure him.  And it s
not just y ou. We re having to lay off both our part-time workers. But the
café s in financial trouble, and the only way we can stay afloat is to make
some staff cuts. We simply can t afford to keep y ou on. I m sorry.
It was a small family -run place. Helen and her husband Paul both
worked there, along with one other full-time employ ee.
 But it was so busy today. How will y ou manage?
 We ll have to find a way. Me and Paul are going to work longer
hours to make up for it.
 Okay. I hope y ou can make it work.
There wasn t any thing else for Jez to say. But he was gutted. He d
liked working there. Helen was nice on a good day  and Paul was an
all-right bloke too. Jez would probably be able to find another part-time
job eventually, but it might take a while. Ply mouth was full of students
looking for work that fitted around their classes, so the competition for
suitable jobs was fierce. Not to mention the fact that half the graduates in
the city couldn t get decent jobs these day s, so they were working in bars
and supermarkets too.
 Thanks, Jez. And if things improve and we have more hours for
y ou in the future, I ll get in touch.
Chapter Eleven
It was raining again as Jez walked home, heavy drops that chilled his
skin and dripped off his hair and down the back of his neck.
He stopped at Tesco Express on his way, by passed all the Christmas
shit, and headed straight for the alcohol section. He bought some beer he
couldn t really afford especially now but he deserved something good
after his shitfest of a day. As soon as he left the warmth and brightness of
the supermarket, he opened one and started drinking.
As he walked, he wondered whether Mac had talked to Josh, or vice
versa, and whether Mac was still freaking out about the morning. Jez was
too low and distracted to care much, but he trusted Josh to keep quiet
about it any way. If Mac was in a state about it, that was his problem.
Jez got home to early -evening chaos at the house. Too many people
in the kitchen, all try ing to make things to eat before they went out and
arguing over whose turn it was next to use the bathroom. Dani s boy friend
was visiting, so there was an extra person in the mix, which didn t help
matters.
Jez put his unopened beers in the fridge and beat a hasty retreat to
the living room where he found Mac and Josh watching TV. Josh was
forking up noodles, and Mac was drinking something in a mug so
presumably non-alcoholic.
 Hi. Jez greeted them both and crossed the room to sit on the sofa
next to Josh rather than joining Mac on the closer one.
 All right, mate. Josh nodded, a clump of noodles slipping from his
fork as he glanced up at Jez.
 Hi. Mac gave Jez a quick, tight smile before turning his attention
back to the TV.
Jez drank his beer in silence, watching Mac rather than the screen. A
muscle ticked in Mac s jaw, and he picked at a loose seam on the arm of
the sofa.
 How was y our day ? Josh asked casually.
Grateful for the attempt at normality, Jez replied without thinking,
 Okay. Then backtracked.  Well& actually it wasn t, really. I lost my
job.
That got Mac s attention. He snapped his head around to look at Jez.
 Shit. Why ? Josh said.
 Yeah. They just can t afford to keep me on any more.
Josh frowned.  I m sorry. That sucks.
Mac still didn t say any thing. He turned back to look at the screen
again.
 Yeah. Jez took another gulp of beer.  So I need to look for
something else after Christmas. There s not much work around, but I ll
find something eventually. I ll have to.
Silence fell again. Josh s phone buzzed with a notification, and he
read as he ate the last few mouthfuls of his noodles. As soon as he was
finished, he stood.
 Okay, I ve gotta run, or I m going to be late. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]