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drugs weren t wearing off and how it only got worse with the added drugs prescribed to him,
by Ben himself. Drugs that were meant to help him but instead they trapped him for the next
two plus years in a world that was as dull and meaningless as dust in an empty room. When
he finishes Ben sits back, running his fingers through his hair. He feels... He has no idea how
he feels.
 Why didn t you say something? he finally asks.
Jensen looks down at the briefcase by his feet.  Those my files? Can I see them?
Ben hesitates then nods, fetching the briefcase and pulling out a thick folder.  They re in
chronological order.
Jensen nods, flipping the first file open. Jared leans in closer and together they scan the files
in silence. All the while Chris stands with his arms crossed, glaring at Ben like a watchdog
just waiting for the order to attack. Ben sips his coffee, eyes on Jensen. Emotions flicker over
his face as he reads, anger and frustration and grief, mixed with confusion and surprise. Like
what he s reading doesn t fit entirely with what he remembers. When he finally speaks his
voice is tight, his anger clearly winning over.
 Patient shows signs of distress when given medication, he reads out loud then flips back to
another page.  Patient keeps trying to hide pills. And here, he says, stabbing his finger at the
papers in front of him,   Patient had to be sedated after throwing a tray of medication on the
floor . He looks up at Ben, jaw set tight.  I tried to tell you, again and again, but you
wouldn t listen.
 Son, that is... Ben shakes his head.  No one wants to be medicated. We have these
arguments with everyone. But that s why they come to us, because they re not capable of
making those decisions for themselves. He laughs a little shakily.  Are you telling me
they re all magical?
Jensen frowns, as if the idea is ridiculous.  No, there s just me. I m the only one.
 Of course. So lets say you re right, you are magical. Ben gives him a small smile.  That
doesn t mean you weren t in need of help.
Jensen scowls.  You re still not listening, he says, sounding increasingly annoyed.  You re
sitting in a box, trying to arrange the whole world into other boxes, lined up around you
according to your pattern of logic. Well, that s the thing. I m not of this world. Or at least I
don t think I am. He looks a little uncomfortable.  I ve never really figured out where I
came from.
 You think you re an alien? Ben asks, indulging him for now.
Jensen snorts.  Do I look green to you? He gives Ben a thoughtful look.  I can see I m not
getting through to you. Let s try something else. Come on.
He stands up and walks out of the kitchen. Ben searches Chris s and Jared s expressions for
any clue of what s going on but they offer him nothing so he has no choice but to follow
Jensen who walks past the living room and down a short hall, stopping before a closed door.
When he turns to face Ben his eyes look weirdly bright in the unlit hallway.
 This is my room, he says.  Only four people have been allowed in here. I hope you
understand the importance of that.
Ben nods, his curiosity starting to get to him.
 Okay. Jensen pushes the door open and walks in.  Don t step on the cat, he says and Ben
looks around, making a note of the colorful room, the old piano, and the total absence of any
animal, cat or otherwise.
 Oh, you started playing again? he asks, doing his best to sound supportive when inside he s
sighing in disappointment. Another wall of progress brutally knocked down.
Jensen s obsession with music had been their biggest challenge. He kept stealing radios from
the common room as well as from the other residents. Radios that most often ended up being
thrown against a wall in frustration because according to Jensen they only played noise and
never the music he was looking for. He was always tapping his fingers, on every surface he
could find and his own knees and thighs when nothing else was available, but it didn t sound
like any rhythm or song they recognized and judging from Jensen s frustration he didn t find [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]